And Baby Makes Three!

We have a fun little announcement today! Yep, that's right...I'm cookin' a little baby M!

Here's a little story about the day we found out...

Sunday May 4th I laid in bed and listened to my husband and the dogs sleeping. Nick was curled around me and I stared up at the ceiling. I kept feeling like something was different today, we were on the verge of something big. I couldn't shake the feeling that I might be pregnant. Of course the chances were there since we had completed our first cycle of Clomid and got a positive ovulation test. My doctor did warn us early on though not to count on it working the first time. She said the chances of a pregnancy were slim. I was just so happy to see that the Clomid had done it's job that I wasn't really counting on anything else.

As I lay there I put my hands over my stomach and prayed and prayed that God would give us a baby. The same prayer I have been praying for months. For over a year.
 

　

Nick woke up and went off to the kitchen to make a French Press pot of coffee and I decided I was going to take a test. I didn't tell him and I shut myself in the bathroom. I set the test of the counter and didn’t take my eyes off of it. Slowly, that second, pretty pink line started to form. My heart started racing and my eyes filled with tears. I stared up at myself in the mirror in total disbelief and then back down at the test. I realized I was completely unprepared… and somehow, now, I needed to go tell Nick. I had always  planned on doing some kind of cute thing to tell him. So much for that! I tried to pull myself together and walked out to the kitchen. He looked up as a I came in and I think he knew right away. I set the test on the counter and cried and cried.

　

We spent the morning staring at each other from across the counter in total shock and laughing, and I cried some more. We talked about the due date and I let a couple holy sh**s! slip. The entire day felt so surreal and I was so happy that it was a Sunday and we were able to spend the whole day together.

The line on the first test was pretty faint and I took maybe four more tests throughout the rest of that day. I ran to the store to get a digital test and jumped around like a crazy person to see Pregnant flash on that beautiful little screen. There's just something about seeing it in writing that still makes me feel a little giddy.

Since we live a few hours from my parents and a state away from my sister we weren't able to share the news with them in person. I FaceTimed my mom and sister on Monday morning before I got out of bed to share the good news and then told my dad over the phone on Tuesday.

We had Nick's parents and sister over for Cinco de Mayo dinner to tell them. Nick's mom is a walking Pinterest board and she has helped us so much with choosing paint colors over the years and giving us decorating and home improvement advice. I picked up some pink and blue paint chips and hid them in a drawer in the kitchen. When everyone was sitting around the kitchen island I asked her if she could help us with some paint colors. I pulled the chips out and set them in front of her and asked what she thought about those. Everyone started screaming and laughing, hugging, and crying. It was such a fun way to tell them!

Everyone is so excited. Our families {especially our moms and sisters} have been so involved in this process and anxious for us to finally get to this point.

We are so excited and cannot wait to meet this sweet baby that we have all been waiting so patiently for!

Baby Fever - Part 2

When we originally decided to start our family I had no idea what to expect. I guess part of me thought that as soon as we started trying that it would just happen right away. I even wrote this post to commemorate the occasion. The other part of me had this nagging feeling, fear that it wasn't going to happen easily. I think that's pretty natural really. Some of my friends have said that they have had similar fears.

Anyway...here we are, one year, a whole lot of trying, temperature charting, and a few bottles of prenatal vitamins later. We are officially not part of the 80% of couples who are able to get pregnant within the first year.

I had my first appointment with by doctor to discuss our next step. I came out of the appointment with a follow up on the calendar and a stack of referrals for blood work, an ultra sound, and some other tests.

I didn't look through the pile of papers until I got home. I looked down and right smack in the middle of my referral for my ultra sound she had written infertility in huge black doctor scroll right across the page. Reading that word on something that belonged to me made me want to pass out.

Four long weeks later Nick and I met with my doctor together to go over our test results and formulate a game plan. The results? I'm not ovulating. At all. My progesterone levels are low and nothing is happening in there. Everything else looks fine as far as she can tell and this should be an easy fix.

We are ready to start our first round of Clomid and praying for a positive test sometime soon.

Will you help us pray?

Wishin', Hopin', Plannin' & Prayin'

I’m trying really hard to be positive right now. I’m trying not to ask too many questions or let my black bubble of doubt grow much bigger. I’m trying not to be angry with my body or wonder too many times why God doesn’t agree with my plan. I’m trying. But it’s hard.

I’m impatient and I’m a control freak and I’ve never wanted anything so badly. I’ve also never wanted anything like this that is completely out of my control. I want a baby. I want to be a mother so badly that my heart literally aches. It seems like everyone around me is pregnant, or just had a baby. Up until about a month ago I was surrounded by pregnant girls. We had 5 pregnant mamas in my office at one time. One by one they have all left for maternity leave and are all now at home snuggling their newborns. The office joke for the last year has been to not drink the water. Me? I'm CHUGGING the water. I'll take whatever I can get.

I know that some people have to wait for years to get pregnant and have experienced so much more pain that I can even imagine in order to get there. So many couples deal with infertility and the heartbreak that comes along with it. We’re not there. And I hope we don't have to face all that. We haven’t even made it to the 6 month mark that by OB/GYN told me to expect but with every month it is getting more and more difficult and I'm getting more and more impatient. My sweet husband has been so patient and encouraging. Doing everything he can to keep me relaxed and distracted.

If I have to look at one more not pregnant on a pregnancy test I might start pulling out my hair. I've taken a solemn vow to myself not to take another test until I am absolutely positive that I am pregnant. The next pregnancy test that I look at is going to have lines, and say pregnant, and have a happy face and that's that. I'm a firm believer in the power of prayer and the law of attraction. I know it's going to happen and when it finally does it will all make sense. I'll just be real here too.. there are worse things that we  could be doing with our time as newlyweds.. right?

I just find it funny {that's the insanity speaking, like rocking in a corner muttering to myself funny} that we spent the entire first year of our marriage actively preventing a pregnancy. Jokes on us I guess.

My mom has been encouraging me to talk to our baby. To keep telling the sweet little bug that we are ready, we are waiting, and that we can't wait to share our lives with him/her. My mom waited 7 years between my sister and me and she's been telling me that she talked to me the whole time. I know where she's going with this idea, and I appreciate that she's trying to make me feel better but 7 years?! Nope. I just can't do that.

Praying for some exiting news soon!

Also... if you are reading, and not following leave me a comment! I'm always looking for new girls to connect with and new blogs to read. I'd love to learn more about my readers :)

 

 

 

Baby Fever

I have a fever. Baby Fever.

 Mr. Husband and I have decided that it is time to make a little human and all I can think about is our little baby to be. Thanks to Pinterest I already have the entire nursery planned {boy & girl} and I am ready to start painting and shopping. Like, now. 

I ran to Target as soon as I tossed my last pack of birth control and bought a big bottle of prenatal vitamins. Overzealous or not, I want to make sure that our tiny person has everything necessary to succeed.
 Even as a fetus.
Even as a fetus that doesn't exist yet.

Let me just say.. these vitamins are just out. of. control. They are HUGE. I'm not a big pill person, Nick has to fight me to take an Advil, and I am struggling to get these suckers down. But, I'm happy to do it every day, in the name of having a baby with 10 fingers, 10 toes, a just one set of eyeballs. {Kidding.. sort of.}

I went to the doctor and they ran some pre-pre-natal blood tests to make sure my thyroid was normal and that I still had immunity to Rubella. Which I do, thanks to those lovely middle school immunizations. Both of those are things I never would have thought about so I'm glad I went in to talk to the doctor ahead of time.

Wish us luck.. here we go!