Wishin', Hopin', Plannin' & Prayin'

I’m trying really hard to be positive right now. I’m trying not to ask too many questions or let my black bubble of doubt grow much bigger. I’m trying not to be angry with my body or wonder too many times why God doesn’t agree with my plan. I’m trying. But it’s hard.

I’m impatient and I’m a control freak and I’ve never wanted anything so badly. I’ve also never wanted anything like this that is completely out of my control. I want a baby. I want to be a mother so badly that my heart literally aches. It seems like everyone around me is pregnant, or just had a baby. Up until about a month ago I was surrounded by pregnant girls. We had 5 pregnant mamas in my office at one time. One by one they have all left for maternity leave and are all now at home snuggling their newborns. The office joke for the last year has been to not drink the water. Me? I'm CHUGGING the water. I'll take whatever I can get.

I know that some people have to wait for years to get pregnant and have experienced so much more pain that I can even imagine in order to get there. So many couples deal with infertility and the heartbreak that comes along with it. We’re not there. And I hope we don't have to face all that. We haven’t even made it to the 6 month mark that by OB/GYN told me to expect but with every month it is getting more and more difficult and I'm getting more and more impatient. My sweet husband has been so patient and encouraging. Doing everything he can to keep me relaxed and distracted.

If I have to look at one more not pregnant on a pregnancy test I might start pulling out my hair. I've taken a solemn vow to myself not to take another test until I am absolutely positive that I am pregnant. The next pregnancy test that I look at is going to have lines, and say pregnant, and have a happy face and that's that. I'm a firm believer in the power of prayer and the law of attraction. I know it's going to happen and when it finally does it will all make sense. I'll just be real here too.. there are worse things that we  could be doing with our time as newlyweds.. right?

I just find it funny {that's the insanity speaking, like rocking in a corner muttering to myself funny} that we spent the entire first year of our marriage actively preventing a pregnancy. Jokes on us I guess.

My mom has been encouraging me to talk to our baby. To keep telling the sweet little bug that we are ready, we are waiting, and that we can't wait to share our lives with him/her. My mom waited 7 years between my sister and me and she's been telling me that she talked to me the whole time. I know where she's going with this idea, and I appreciate that she's trying to make me feel better but 7 years?! Nope. I just can't do that.

Praying for some exiting news soon!

Also... if you are reading, and not following leave me a comment! I'm always looking for new girls to connect with and new blogs to read. I'd love to learn more about my readers :)

 

 

 

Wedding Wednesday ~ The Video

I can't believe we are already creeping up on our first anniversary. This year has absolutely flown by. I keep thinking about where we were at this time last year. Life was in complete chaos and our house looked like a wedding warehouse. We had some really great people working on our wedding. I loved how everything turned out and wouldn't change anything at all.

I know a lot of people go back and forth about wedding videography and some people choose to forego the video in the interest of saving some money. Big mistake in my opinion. A video does something that a photo just can't. Don't get me wrong, I love our wedding photos. But I don't tear up every time I see them.

Our videographer did a short edit along with an extended edit that is about an hour long, and also gave us all of the raw footage from the entire day. The raw footage is hilarious. Hearing all of the nonsense happening in the background at the hotel with the girls getting ready? Priceless. Those are just moments that you can never get back, or even really remember in the first place because your wedding day is a blur.

By the way, our videographer was amazing. He did such a great job and to tell you the truth I never even knew he was there. The only time I even remember seeing him was when he arrived at my hotel room. Our friends are getting married in Half Moon Bay next fall and they loved his work so much they have already hired him to do their wedding! 

Watch our video here

 

Happily 28

Nick's birthday was actually back in June, the same weekend of my sister's wedding so we pushed his birthday celebration back a week. We spent the weekend in Napa wine tasting and roasting in the heat. Northern CA has had one hell of a heat wave the last two weeks.

Saturday we went to a few wineries and then had dinner at a new restaurant in Yountville we hadn't tried yet that had delicious wood fire pizzas.

I made a key lime pie from scratch and Nick opened his presents. I got him an Xbox which I'm pretty sure makes me either the coolest wife ever, or the stupidest. I'm not sure which yet.

We spent all day Sunday baking ourselves next to the pool. It was so hot that eventually all of the dogs joined us {not by choice I might add}.

Here is Teddy watching the other three dogs in the pool from above. We haven't had a chance to get him to a lake yet this summer and we were trying to avoid putting him in the pool. I want him to love to swim and not be scared, and throwing a puppy in the pool isn't usually the best way to foster a love for water. But, it was way too hot and it had to happen.

Mr. Husband isn't the biggest fan of birthdays but I think this was a good one.

I love you sweet husband and I am so looking forward to spending the rest of our birthdays together!

Five on Friday

This is my first time linking up with these lovely ladies for the weekly 5 on Friday. But, if you've learned anything about me yet, you've learned that I love lists!

 

Today I'm going to share with you my 5 summer must-haves.

1. I have had my Tervis tumbler attached to me at all times for the last few weeks. I do not drink nearly enough water so I made a note to myself at the bottom of the cub to drink 4 of them a day. That's 64 oz of water a day folks. That's also 64 trips from my desk down the hall to the bathroom a day. So... I can safely say I will be fully hydrated this summer. These cups aren't cheap but I like that it has a lid that closes and it's double walled so my cold water stays cold. There are few things I hate more than room temperature water. I don't have a photo of my actual tumbler but it's a pretty one from our local country club.

2. I bought a pack of these lace creaseless hair ties at Icing a few months back. Who shops at Icing anymore? I do apparently. Anyway, I made a promise to my hair that I wouldn't be using a blow dryer this summer. I've been showering at night and then sleeping with my hair up in one of these and styling pretty in the morning. Where have these little lovelies been all my life?

3. I love a good tote. My closet is packed full of these things. I recently accidentally/on purpose bought enough swim suits at my favorite summer clothing supplier to get me this pretty little bag fo' free. We take a lot of weekend trips and I've been stuffing all my bathroom essentials in this bag and will be using it for many trips to the pool, lake, etc.

4. I recently discovered the Perrier skinny can. They are a 0 calorie, 0 everything else, slightly flavored treat. Our fridge has been fully stocked with their range of flavors. My favorite is the grapefruit. Apparently it's everyone else's favorite too because I have had one hell of a time finding them.

5. Nothing says summer to me like a good book. My kindle is not a new addition to my reading repertoire but it's definitely an essential. I'm currently reading Gone Girl and absolutely loving it. I love that I can dim the back light and read at night after Mr. M is snoring and that it is bright enough to still be able to read in the direct sun. It took me a while to convert to kindle reading (I do miss the smell of a real book) but being able to have all of my favorite books, magazines, and blogs  in one tiny little reader that I can stuff in my purse is worth it.

We are headed up to Napa for the weekend for a belated birthday celebration for Nick. You better believe every single one of the above will be tagging along!

My Sister's Wedding

We are fresh back home from a wonderful trip to Oregon to celebrate the wedding of my sister and new brother-in-love. It was, quite possibly one of the most beautiful and sweetest weddings I've ever seen.

They live in the North Eastern corner of Oregon in a little town called Joseph, that is absolutely gorgeous. So far up actually that the closest major airport was Boise Idaho. We flew in Thursday morning and even got to see Mt. Shasta from the air.

It took us about 4 hours to drive in from Boise but the drive was beautiful. And? the best part? We were on the real Oregon trail! My history nerd of a husband was so excited. More on that later.



 

 

 

The weather was gray and wet for most of the trip. We did the rehearsal in the pouring rain, while being attacked by baby goats. The wedding was at a barn on an actual goat ranch so that should have been expected.

 

 

 



Poor little Felix. The goats kept stealing his little baby shoes! We'd hear him scream, turn around and see a goat running away with his shoe.

Saturday morning, we woke up to beautiful, blue clear skies and the temperature actually soared above 65 degrees! Just in time for the wedding, the clouds lifted away from the mountains and the sun came out. It was seriously beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The wedding actually fell on Nick's birthday. He loves pie and was in absolute pie heaven. The band even played Happy Birthday for him. So sweet! 



 

The next morning we had to pack up and make our way back home. We stopped at the Oregon Trail museum. Those are some real wagon ruts & an original wagon  in the photo below.

 

 

It was so nice to finally get to see where my sister and her fiancé husband have been living. It was absolutely beautiful and we can't wait to make another trip up there.

 

Now, back to work.

Frowny face.